L. A. BOOK RIOTS – THE REST OF THE STORY

I recovered from the book signing debacle in Larchmont.  I sold a bunch of books but the money wasn’t enough to pay for replacing my shredded clothes and medical bills.

But, it didn’t end there.  My phone didn’t stop ringing.  Book groupies!  Who knew?

I’m happily married.  I want to make that clear.  And I love whatshername dearly.

My life is devoted to educating the great unlearned how to write screenplays and writing books on screenwriting like THE LAST WORD (Available at a bookstore near you.)

The only way I can explain what happened next is that somehow I wrote enough truths about screenwriting and touched enough hearts with my new book THE LAST WORD (Also available from Michael Wiese Productions  – see the link below) that people, using the knowledge they’ve learned, were transforming themselves into successful screenwriters.

I awoke the day after what are now known as the Larchmont Book Signing and Riots and went out my front door to get the L.A. Times (and the New York Times but I don’t want to be pretentious) and found there were two young women waiting out on the sidewalk, clutching copies of THE LAST WORD (Also available at Amazon.com – see link below) tight to their innocent breasts.

“Professor!”  Would you autograph our books?”

“Mr. Lazarus, please, please!”

I hesitated.  Their desperate hunger for knowledge got my attention as did their short shorts and skimpy tank tops.

“Sign our books, please.”

“It would mean so much.”

“Of course.”  How could I refuse such eager learners?

The blonde, the other was a redhead – I love redheads  – handed me a Sharpie.  “Make it out to Zelda.”

As I began to write “To Zelda, you are The Last Word for me…”

Something covered my mouth as I scrawled my signature (I had spent my youth practicing my autograph so I was ready) and I smelled the sweet and acrid fumes of ether.

The last thing I heard before blacking out was Zelda saying, “The three act structure ain’t dead, asshole, you are.”

And as I began to go under, I thought is this what I get for trying to educate America and the world about screenwriting?

–         To be continued –

 

THE LAST WORD from MWP:

http://shop.mwp.com/products/the-last-word-definitive-answers-to-all-your-screenwriting-questions

 

THE LAST WORD from Amazon.Com:

http://www.amazon.com/The-Last-Word-Definitive-Screenwriting/dp/1615931198/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&qid=1335223432&sr=8-1

 

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